by G. Sax (@gsax)
Invariably, when someone from somewhere else wants to make fun of Minnesotans, or northerners in general, there will be something about ice fishing. To many, it is a ridiculous enterprise for ridiculous people in a godforsaken land. On the frozen, cynical surface, they may have a point, but…
Ice fishing is more than ice fishing. In the movie Grumpy Old Men, it's a way of life and a place to watch Gophers hockey games for Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, and Burgess Meredith. For Timothy Hutton and Uma Thurman in Beautiful Girls, the ice shack is a reflective place to get to know one another. For Dave Attell of Comedy Central's cult classic TV show, "Insomniac," it was a place to get downright boozy at 4:30 a.m. In fact, drinking is a solid part of all my examples.
I'm a city mouse by choice and trade, and I'm so nose-deep in city snobbery that I often scoff at anything suburban. I know it's wrong and I know it's hypocritical. I've had good times in the suburbs, I work in the suburbs, I've eaten at Applebee's.
What I'm getting to is that beyond the suburban doughnut is a wide world of exurban, rural, and lakeside experiences that can refresh the soul and rekindle the flame of even the most hardened urbanite. There are 10,000-plus lakes out beyond the 494/694 ring, and most of them can be fished. And ice fished.
I managed to get out before the season ended. I went up to Cross Lake in Pine City with some guys to "fish," which is better defined as "sit in a 10' x 15' shack, eat junk food, listen to country music, play cribbage, smoke Cuban cigars, page through the latest Playboy and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and drink Grain Belt Premiums in a can."
If you're a certain type of Minnesotan, whether country, city, or suburbanite, this is a heavenly way to spend a day.
I admit that I'm not the poster boy for ice fishing. Until last weekend, I didn't know what a tip-up or a Vexilar was, and when I asked one local boy what a Vexilar was, he said, "It's a Vexilar." That was apparently definition enough. It's actually a manufacturer of color flashers and LCD depth finders. Google told me so.
According to the Department of Natural Resources (DNR), Minnesota's ice fishing houses and portables must be off the ice of inland waters no later than midnight on March 1 in the southern two-thirds of the state (including the Twin Cities) and March 15 in the northern third. Those not removing shelters will be prosecuted, and conservation officers may remove the structure and confiscate or destroy it. This is serious business.
There are different rules for waters abutting bordering states, and the DNR website is worth checking out for more info. They even have a Twitter and a YouTube.
